i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize