Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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