My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize