you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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