when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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