we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize