Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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