I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize