RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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