please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize