dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
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I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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