Will you blow on my dice?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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