I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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