I hate your face
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize