Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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