and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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