He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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