Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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