the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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