Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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