I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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