i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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