I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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