Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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