So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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