Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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