found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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