I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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