I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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