I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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