yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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