I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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