i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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