Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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