How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize