I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize