2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize