let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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