Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize