College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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