If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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