Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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