Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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