I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The Olympian is in my bed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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