Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize