I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize