Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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