I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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