Your dad touched me again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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