lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize